Top Ten Flaws in Universal Healthcare

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10. Doctors can only afford Mercedes S420 instead of S500.

9. United States will be too crowded if infant mortality rate decreases.

8. Putting McDonalds in hospital doesn't make fiscal sense if hospital has to replace your arteries for free.

7. Lazy Americans already buying Rascal Scooters at alarming rate.

6. Think of the Canadian and Mexican pharmacies that rely on business of American seniors.

5. Only Californians get free medical marijuana.

4. Taxes on super rich Americans increase, solid gold umbrella-stand industry collapses.

3. Harrowing decision between purchase of a child's medication and food builds character.

2. What's next? A college education for poor people too?

1. One less reason to be afraid means one more reason American people might start thinking.

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